


A Noble Science

by within_a_dream



Category: Benjamin January Mysteries - Barbara Hambly
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cooking, F/M, Fluff, Food, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/within_a_dream/pseuds/within_a_dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cookery may be a noble science, but Rose had never had any skill in the field.</p><p>(Or, five times that Rose had a miserable time cooking, and one time she found it not as bad as expected.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Noble Science

**Author's Note:**

> The title and summary are drawn from Robert Burton's _The Anatomy of Melancholy_ : "Cookery is become an art, a noble science; cooks are gentlemen."
> 
> This is for a prompt from [brigdh](brigdh.tumblr.com); it's terribly late, for which I apologize. Each section is a double drabble.

Her husband didn’t expect her to cook their meals, for which Rose was incredibly grateful, but she occasionally felt she ought to. This usually resulted in clouds of smoke and dishes filled with nothing but ruined ingredients, and today was no exception. She stared at what had once been bread dough and began to laugh to herself, feeling utterly ridiculous. Cooking was, after all, just another form of chemistry, but she’d never been able to make the leap from mixing chemicals to mixing flour and yeast.

When Benjamin arrived home, she was scrubbing out the charred pan. He smiled sympathetically, and offered to help her.

“It was meant to be bread,” she told him.

“You didn’t need to bake it yourself; we can always buy bread.”

“I thought it would be entertaining.” Rose laughed, gesturing at the dishes. “I should have known better, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“That sentence has led greater men and women to their doom,” Benjamin replied, and she laughed again, kissing him on the cheek.

“Well. I suppose I’ll have to try again, once the smell of fire has cleared out.”

“It wouldn’t do to concede defeat,” he solemnly agreed.

~~~

Benjamin must have thought her more concerned about the baking incident than she was. A few weeks later, Rose found herself being ushered into the kitchen by his sister, ingredients in tow.

“I thought we could make a pudding,” Minou said, with no indication that she’d been put up to this. Rose didn’t mind spending time with her by any means, but they weren’t particularly close, and there was certainly no reason for Minou to drag her into baking other than pity.

“I hope you’ve prepared yourself for the loss of your ingredients.”

Dominique laughed. “Nonsense! I’m sure we’ll manage to come up with something entirely edible.”

An hour or so later, she was certainly ruing her words. The pudding in front of them looked edible, at least, but tasted foul. Minou had stopped trying to pretend she enjoyed it after the first few bites. “Are you…quite sure you added sugar?”

“Of course! I took it from this jar, right here—” Rose tasted a small fingerful, and wrinkled her nose. “Oh dear. It seems I added salt.”

“That would explain the taste.” She embraced Rose, then picked up her pudding dish. “I’m sure we’ll manage something edible next time.”

~~~

The next relative to come for a visit was Gabriel Corbier. _They’ve sent in the cavalry_ , Rose thought, for if Gabe couldn’t salvage her cooking, no one could.

He brought a sack of vegetables and a side of beef. They managed to add all the ingredients to the pot without incident, although Gabriel seemed impatient with her slow pace. (She couldn’t bear to tell him that the last time she’d made soup, she’d managed to scald herself by adding the chicken too quickly.)

Rose hardly dared think it for fear of cursing their efforts, but things seemed to be going well. Until, that is, Gabe stepped outside and Rose let her attention wander and the soup began bubbling over the sides of the pan. She pulled it from the stove in time to save something like half of the contents, which would have been plenty if she’d been feeding herself, Ben, and Gabe. Unfortunately, they’d invited the rest of the Corbiers, as well as Hannibal and Dominique.

When Gabe returned, he looked at the soup-splattered walls with dismay. “I was only gone for five minutes!”

Their dinner guests were kind enough not to mention the extremely small servings that night.

~~~

The next disaster couldn’t be blamed on her, at least. She’d given very clear instructions to Olympe and Minou when they took over the kitchen for their preparation of the Januarys’ anniversary dinner. If she’d forgotten that a few of her laboratory jars were waiting near the basin to be washed, well, it was only common sense not to use a dish for soup if it was fogged over and crusted with precipitate.

Perhaps she should have cleaned the kitchen before their arrival. It would have avoided the trouble, certainly, but she’d been so busy with classes and it hadn’t even occurred to her that not everyone knew her beakers by sight.

In any case, no harm was done. Rose saw the beaker with the remnants of the meat’s sauce in time to stop Ben from pouring a heaping spoonful of it onto his roast, and even without its topping, the beef was delicious.

“I hope you weren’t planning on getting rid of me, Rose,” Ben told her over dessert. “I don’t have any estate to speak of, and I’d hate to add to Inspector Shaw’s workload.”

 “Oh, arsenic is so indelicate. I’d prefer to stab you,” Rose said sweetly.

~~~

A garish red liquid dripped down the walls, and Rose nearly choked on the heavy iron-like fumes in the room. She’d known this would be unpleasant, but she’d never guessed just how much. She’d meant to have her work done before Ben’s return, but as she was in the midst of plucking a wing, she heard the door unlatch.

Rose was certain that the last thing Benjamin wanted to come home to was a kitchen soaked in blood. To his credit, he took the mess in stride. “I’ve come from investigating one death, and it seems I’ve walked into the site of another!”

“Ah yes, the tragic murder of Ma’amzelle Poule,” Rose said. “Taken from us too soon, and her flesh far too shredded to make a fine filet.”

“You sell yourself short; there’s more than enough breast left for the two of us.”

Rose glanced around at the kitchen walls. “Whether we’ll have the appetite for it after cleaning up the mess I’ve left is another matter.”

The scrubbing went faster with the two of them working at it, and the chicken _was_ delicious—still, Rose resolved to buy her meat already slaughtered in the future, to avoid mess.

~~~

On one of the very scarce mornings when both Rose and Benjamin had no commitments, she awoke to the sound of pans clattering.

“I thought we could make breakfast,” he said when she followed the noise out to the kitchen.

Rose groaned in dismay. “Oh, do we have to?”

“I’ve been told that many people find cooking entertaining.”

“Unless you find it entertaining to watch me nearly destroy our kitchen, I’m not sure I see the fun in it.” But she took the pan he offered her and half-heartedly stirred the eggs inside while Ben began to mix a bowl of batter.

While Rose focused on the eggs (determined not to burn them this time), something cold and sticky hit her cheek. When she looked up, Ben was grinning with a spoon in his hand.

“I seem to have slipped,” he said, smile growing wider at her mock indignation. “Let me clean that off for you.” He put a hand to her face and kissed her.

“You missed the mess entirely,” Rose said, laughing.

He wiped the batter away with his thumb. “Is this as bad as you were expecting?”

“I think I’m beginning to see the appeal,” she answered.


End file.
